Day 1 - Portland, Oregon

@missslilah drove 9 hours up to Portland to shoot. I feel like I'm not worth a 9 hour drive, so that really bugs me. I've put a lot of pressure on myself to get a good image, lighting, composition, and the subjects interaction. One thing I have been on myself is to make it interesting, something I haven't done before and I realize how difficult that is for every shot. Photography is such a self pressured art. It can eat you up if you let it. If I'm not inspired by location or light, I feel like I cannot move. 

Lilah and I had deep conversations driving around, I find her really easy to talk to and trust, I am unsure why that is, but the timing is right and I feel like we are riding the same wave length so why hold back. This experience together must fit into a bigger puzzle for us later on down the line. 

I hope I can think of something original tomorrow to make me feel worth her time. I have a sense that we both are a little tired from traveling which is making us not as lose and free flowing as we could be. 

I had a model cancel tomorrow that I have been talking to for the last few months, she's ill, so I understand. But I think she's going to try to see me when she's in Los Angeles. On a positive note, I will be meeting with @filthdegree tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to be getting creative with her. 

I wonder what aspects of life people are looking forward to it the spontaneity that people live for? The hopes that there enjoyable moments? Or the happiness of having a steady job? I hope my cynicism goes away so I can enjoy more of this creative process.